Kids, be sure you never:

  • Eat anything described as “imitation.”
  • Pass up a free meal.
  • Volunteer for a job without knowing what the job is.
  • Smoke anything.
  • Gamble on it not raining.
  • Tell a mechanic to “just do whatever needs to be done.”
  • Pick up a snake.
  • Forget to give the garbage man a Christmas gift.
  • Order octopus.
  • Think people won’t notice the stain on your shirt.
  • Wait till the gas gauge hits empty.
  • Pick your nose.
  • Use coffee grinds more than once.
  • Buy anything from someone who calls you on the phone.
  • Get anyone’s name tattooed on your body.
  • Freeze anything twice.
  • Think you can jump any creek without falling in.

Faceplant on bloggers, seniors and geezers on

  • Consider saddle bronc riding as a career choice.
  • Pick up anything that weighs more than 30 pounds.
  • Trust a dog just because its tail is wagging.
  • Think having a turn signal on means someone is going to turn.
  • Pass up a chance to take a nap.
  • Buy a black automobile.
  • Think you can cross a field without a bull seeing you.
  • Expect to see men working when you see a “Men Working” sign.
  • Think your dentist won’t find any cavities.
  • Wear black shoes with white socks.
  • Deep-fry a frozen turkey.
  • Vote for anyone who uses automated political phone calls.
  • Think a lawyer can solve your problem.
  • Jump off a roof.
  • Expect any toaster to last more than six months.
  • Think you can put a can of gas in your car without spilling some.
  • Buy a $6 pizza.
  • Wear a baseball hat backwards.
  • Expect your lawn mower to start in the spring.
  • Trust someone who is consistently late.
  • Plant zucchini.
  • Think the word “Sale” really means anything.
  • Answer a knock at your door after 8 PM.
  • Let your underwear show—accidentally or on purpose.
  • Think any knife will actually be sharp.
  • Serve cake without ice cream at a birthday party.
  • Take photos of more than three people and expect everyone to be looking at the camera.
  • Think the spare tire will have air in it when needed.
  • Think you will never get old.
Grandkids: Wise Advice

One thought on “Grandkids: Wise Advice

  • November 6, 2014 at 10:33

    Isn’t the red light supposed to tell u to fill it up???


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