I love to watch football, but find it difficult to get into any game where I don’t have a favorite. Like many fans, my number one team is based on my connection to a certain locale. Since I grew up in Arizona, I picked the Cardinals to be the team I most wanted to see win. It felt good when they won.

The problem with the Cardinals, however, is they have only had one really good season—ever. That was the 2008 season when they ended up in Super Bowl XLIII where they faced the Pittsburg Steelers. In a game they should have won—I am personally sure that the 100 yard touchdown runback by a Steeler line backer who intercepted a poor pass by Kurt Warner to close the first half was really only 99 yards. The runner was knocked out of bounds at the one-yard line with no time left on the clock. Even though this play was reviewed, the bad call stood. With these 7 unearned points, Pittsburg won 27-23. Since then, the best the Cardinals have done is summed up by sports commentators who use the phrase “in an unimpressive win.” There were actually a lot more “unimpressive losses.” But hey, they’re my team and I will keep rooting for them.

Ten Yard Line2

But a few years ago, I decided that while I waited for the Cardinals to get back to another Super Bowl, I needed a couple of other teams to cheer for. In selecting these teams, here was my thought process (and yes I do know that I will insult 90% of America’s football fans by revealing my scathing judgments):

  • Minnesota Vikings, Green Bay Packers, Buffalo Bills—Twenty degrees below zero is just not football weather.
  • New York Giants, New York Jets, Chicago Bears—Don’t like big urban teams that get undeserved attention and try to buy wins with their huge cash flow. Sick of seeing these are the teams on television even when they suck.
  • Pittsburg Steelers—See above
  • San Francisco 49ers—I got caught in downtown traffic at rush hour here once and based on that traumatic event could never pick this team.
  • Denver Broncos—I like the concept of Rocky Mountain High (and Coors) so they might be one to consider.
  • Carolina Panthers, Jacksonville Titans—Where did these teams come from?
  • Dallas Cowboys—Any team that just goes out and declares itself “America’s Team” without first clearing it with America is not getting my vote.
  • Philadelphia Eagles—No thanks, I visited Edgar Allan Poe’s house here once and you can see in his basement the exact place where he got the idea of walling up a person while still alive—creepy.
  • Baltimore Ravens—If you watched the television show “The Wire” you’d know why this place has no chance.
  • Atlanta Falcons—Spent a few months in Georgia—way too humid—I don’t like to sweat—no way.
  • New Orleans Saints—New Orleans is Mardi Gras—not football—these activities are just not compatible.
  • Seattle Seahawks—A little soggy, but an unassuming, laid back place that fanatically supports its team—maybe a shot.
  • New England Patriots—Something’s evil here.
  • San Diego Chargers, Jacksonville Jaguars—The Chargers mascot looks like he’s freaked out on meth and the Jaguar’s jaguar looks like it has mange. If you can’t pick a decent mascot, I doubt you can play football.
  • Oakland Raiders—Has always been a team on the edge—and a little over—ok, a lot over.
  • Cleveland Browns, Cincinnati Bengals—Since Jim Brown’s time, just not much going on here. Bengals are just that other Ohio team.
  • Miami Dolphins, Tampa Bay Buccaneers—Florida is about beach bunnies not football.
  • St. Louis Rams—I just think of them as the LA team—but either way—no way.
  • Kansas City Chiefs, Houston Texans, Washington Redskins—Almost forgot to put them on this list—not a good sign.
  • Detroit Lions—Does this city still exist?
  • Indianapolis Colts—Just can’t forgive them for what they did to Manning, but Andrew Luck is very interesting.

After this careful analysis, I added Seattle and Denver to my list of favorites. Immediately, my odds of having a good Sunday improved by 200—or is it 300%? Well, anyway, my teams win a lot more games now.

You may say, gee, must be nice to just jump on the bandwagon of last year’s Super Bowl champs and the team who just picked up Peyton Manning. But I picked these teams a few years back when they were not nearly as good—so there.  Besides I’m a Geezer and I can do anything I damn well please.

All I know is that I seemed to have a renewed interest in football and who’s to say you can’t have more than one favorite team. When Arizona plays these two teams, I still root for them, but when they loose I still feel good. You can’t have too many win-win situations in life. So now I have my money on the Cardinals (a bird that is nearly non-existent in Arizona) {the name came from the old St. Louis team}, the Seahawks (a bird that doesn’t exist [if it’s an osprey, call it an osprey]) and the broncos (what, did they run out of birds?)

Note: Sorry if I disrespected your team, but they have probably disrespected my teams way too many times.

Picking a Football Team to Root For
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